is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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