i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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