Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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