god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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