That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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