How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
