she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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