Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
