i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
