Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's Friday. Sex?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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