Screwed.edu
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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