I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
