i barfeds in our rink
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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