That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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