3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
