I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
