Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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