I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
