So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
