Where did you get a picture of my penis
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
