I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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