is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
