So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i permit you to call me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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