you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
