Plan B is the new Plan A
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
