glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
