ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
