Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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