Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's always time for handjobs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
