mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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