she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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