did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
