i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
