she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
