just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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