If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
