This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
