is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
