just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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