Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
