Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
