New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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