can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Four minutes until I can fart!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
