Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
