so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
