Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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