But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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