So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
