i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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