he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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