You made me cry and you don't even care
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
